What To Do If Your Child Is Having Friendship Issues At School
Friendships play a huge role in a child’s happiness and sense of belonging at school. When your child starts experiencing problems with friends, it can be upsetting for both of you. Whether they’re feeling left out, having disagreements, or struggling to make new friends, it’s important to handle the situation calmly and with care. Here’s how you can support your child through friendship challenges and help them build positive relationships.
Listen First and Stay Calm
This private school in Hampstead suggests that the first step is to listen without judgment. Encourage your child to talk about what’s happening and how it’s making them feel. Children often open up more when they don’t feel they’re being interrogated, so try gentle prompts such as “That sounds difficult — what happened next?” or “How did that make you feel?”.
It’s natural to feel protective, but avoid jumping to conclusions or rushing to fix things immediately. Often, children just need to be heard and reassured that their feelings are valid. Understanding the full picture will help you thoughtfully guide them.
Help Them Understand Different Perspectives
Once your child has shared their side, gently encourage them to think about the situation from another point of view. Sometimes, misunderstandings or differences in personality can cause friction between friends. Helping your child to see that others may have different feelings or reasons for their behaviour teaches empathy and resilience.
You might say something like, “It sounds like Jamie wanted to play a different game — maybe you can take turns next time?” Encouraging this kind of balanced thinking helps your child develop social awareness and problem-solving skills.
Encourage Positive Communication
Many friendship problems arise from poor communication. Help your child practise expressing their feelings in a calm, respectful way. Simple phrases like “I felt sad when…” or “I’d like it if we could…” are great tools for managing conflict.
If your child feels nervous about speaking up, role-playing at home can be really effective. Take turns pretending to be each person in the situation — it can help them feel more confident about what to say and how to say it.
Work With the School
If problems persist or seem to be affecting your child’s wellbeing, it’s a good idea to speak with their teacher or pastoral care team. Teachers often have valuable insight into friendship dynamics at school and can keep an eye on how things develop.
Share your concerns calmly and ask whether they’ve noticed similar issues. Together, you can come up with strategies — such as pairing your child with different classmates or encouraging group activities that promote inclusion.
Build Confidence Outside School
Helping your child develop friendships outside the classroom can also make a big difference. Joining clubs, sports teams or community groups allows them to meet new people in a relaxed setting. These experiences can boost self-esteem and remind them that friendships can come in many forms.
At home, praise your child for their kindness and efforts to get along with others. Focus on qualities like empathy, patience and honesty — traits that form the foundation of lasting friendships.
A Final Thought
All children experience friendship ups and downs as they grow. By supporting your child with understanding, patience and gentle guidance, you’ll help them develop the skills to navigate social challenges and build stronger, healthier relationships — both now and in the future.
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