Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?

After the euphoria of a new relationship has dissipated some cracks will almost inevitably develop.  But what happens when some of those cracks start to develop into chasms? You may start to ask yourself ‘Is your relationship worth saving?’

There are few things more stressful than a relationship breakdown. Not every relationship has to fail. There are ways to repair our broken relationships and find our way back to the things that once made us happy.  Or maybe the process will help you to realise that it’s just not meant to be!

Let’s take a look at some simple ways you can move in a positive direction:

Five ways to repair your broken relationship

1. Talk about your problems. Be open and honest. Sometimes, genuine, meaningful discussions can be lost in the chaos of life. If you are having problems connecting with your partner, it may be worth sitting down and discussing them.

* Talk openly about where you think the relationship is failing. Listen to each other’s side of the story and try not to interrupt. Build on each point made and be reasonable and fair.

* Try not to argue or insult each other simply. It can be difficult when you feel upset or angry, but try not to be too defensive, as it can cause even more conflict.

* Identify what is making you unhappy. Then, use positive reinforcement. Discuss exactly what you want to change and how to make that happen. Creating an action plan is more productive than simply insulting each other.

2. Initiate a discussion about compromise. Consider sitting down together and writing a list of reasons you got together in the first place. Create a list highlighting everything you like about your partner and get them to do the same.

* From there, identify what it is that bothers you about your partner. Get them to do the same.

* Together, make a list of compromises you are willing to make to help support the relationship. By openly discussing your issues, you will feel in control, respected, and listened to.

3. Go on a date. Rekindle the magic. In our busy lives, we can all forget why we got together with our partners in the first place. You can change that.

* Book a table at your favourite restaurant. Go for an evening stroll together. Go on a date. Spend time in a relaxed environment getting to know each other again and reminding each other what it is you like about each other.

* You could get creative and do something spontaneous on your date. Perhaps go to a theme park, a wildlife park, or go on a short break. Be wild and creative! It may ignite passion in your tired relationship.

4. Consider external sources of conflict. Friends and family can be a valuable source of advice and company, and they can shape our lives. There are sometimes issues, however. Perhaps you have challenging in-laws or friends who don’t like your partner. If this is the case, tensions can boil over.

* Put some work into these relationships too. Sit down with the people potentially contributing to conflict in your relationship. Air out grievances and find common ground. It’ll take the strain off your relationship and make you feel less stressed!

5. Don’t be afraid to work on yourself. Think about how you behave in your relationship. What kind of person are you becoming?

* We all need to take time for self-reflection. Consider how you treat your partner in your relationship. Are you compromising? Are you being fair? Can you tell yourself you’re being the best version of yourself?

Relationships take work but don’t throw yours away because there are a few cracks in it. Remember, cracks can be fixed. If something is worth saving, take time to nurture it and repair it. Work together to find a solution and, most importantly, learn to compromise with each other.

However, if you’ve tried everything and it’s just not working it’s important to recognise that fact.  If you’re just making each other unhappy then perhaps you just have to face facts and go your separate ways.

There is no easy way to deal with a breakup, but there are things you can do that can make the situation more manageable and allow you to move on with your life.

Breakups can be emotionally and physically draining, with their effects lingering for a long time. You wonder what went wrong and how something you assumed was meant to last has suddenly and abruptly come to an end.

Despite the heartache, it is possible to get over a breakup so you can get back on your feet and be the bubbly, energized person you know you are. Take a look at this short guide to learn how to deal with a breakup:

How to let go and deal with a breakup

1. Talk to your friends and family. Support is so important at a difficult time. When you are emotionally vulnerable, find comfort in the words of wisdom that your friends and family can give you.

* Ask your family to listen to what you have to say. Request that they not be judgemental but instead patient, kind, and calm, always putting your thoughts and feelings first.

2. Minimize contact. Although it is a very personal choice, minimizing contact with your old partner after a breakup might be an effective way to help you along in the grieving process.

* Even if you and your partner split up on highly amicable terms, it can be effective and healthy to give each other distance so you are not still living in each other’s shadow.

* You should respect each other’s space and mutually respect each other enough to spend time apart.

* This will allow both of you to reflect on yourselves and the relationship while also taking the time you need to heal without the complication of running into each other.

* Similarly, if the breakup was a bad one, minimizing or cutting off contact can be an effective way to move on and start looking to the future, while also letting go of the past. You need to do what feels right for you.

3. Avoid bitterness. Being bitter takes valuable energy and it can mess with your mood. Consider why the relationship ended, take a moment to reflect, and remember the positive times.

* Take all of the life lessons you possibly can from your relationship and use them going forward.

* Work out what positive things you can take from the entire experience. Use the time after a breakup to identify how you have grown and changed as a person.

* Self-reflection allows you to put yourself first and think about your wellbeing.

4. Clear out the clutter. If you have some of your old partner’s clothes or personal items, consider clearing out and removing clutter from your home and your life.

* You will find yourself letting go of the past and moving on as you seek new horizons.

5. Look after yourself. It’s important after a breakup to eat properly, sleep properly, and practice some self-care routines.

* While physically looking after yourself is important, don’t forget to look after your mental well-being. Do activities that you enjoy and make sure you are taking time to rest, relax, and recharge.

Although breakups can be a challenging and sad period to navigate through, just remember that you can be resilient and determined.

Sometimes, relationships just don’t work out and it’s better to not be in a relationship at all than an unhealthy one.

Whatever you decide to do, be kind to yourself, be positive, and look towards a brighter future.